Glamour Shots: Asian Style

Anna and I took a couple of our friends to have some pictures made the other night. We'll call them Glamour Shots...remember those cheesy 80's/early 90's pictures where they deck you out with make-up and fancy clothes and then make you pose in the most ridiculous ways!?...that's our night alright! And for the record, no my hair is not that long. Yep, that's fake hair they attached to me. If only you could see Anna's hair from the back; she had pink curly hair with butterflies stuck in there! It was three hours of cheesy good fun and our friends loved it. For one of my pictures I had to keep my shorts on underneath my dress because the traditional style was not what you'd call conservative when it comes to side slits. Ha. We even had hoops with the dresses we wore in the picture! It was like prom meets Gone With the Wind. It was fun to laugh, but they take this very seriously, so I'm not quite sure we were respectful enough, but the whole thing was a slam dunk. We get our posed pictures back this week, although they'll be under lock and key. I don't want anyone to have anything on me for blackmail!

1st Floor, Going Up!

Tonight my friends and I were sharing our frustrations of elevator mannerisms here. We'll just say that there's certain habits among the people here when riding on an elevator, though I'll just expound upon the main two: the "Close Door" button, and "No Smoking." Despite the usual laid-back, nonchalant way of walking down the streets, the people here take their elevator rides oh-so-seriously. If you hesitate to get on when the doors open and there's a person already on, don't be surprised if they mash that little "Close door" button (multiple times) right before your very eyes and smile as the doors slide closed. I think we estimated that hitting this button every time the elevator stops to let someone on or off may actually save anyone else that may be on board a whopping 3-8 seconds (depending on which floor you live on)! Also, if you're riding the elevator and you happen to be jammed in with 15 other people and closest to all the buttons and you don't hit the button, you can expect to be glared at, and reached around. They WILL hit the button no matter what. It's kind of like the beginning of Season 2 of Lost, where the world would cease if the numbers weren't entered in every few minutes. Like the time saved on the elevator will make up for all the time it will take for them to walk from the elevator out of the building or to their apartment door. Ha. Anyways, Close Door Nazis...it's true. On to the second elevator phenomenon: the elevators clearly display "No Smoking" signs on the wall above the buttons, but this doesn't stop the folks that live here, no sir-ree. They think that "No Smoking" means to actually just not literally smoke the cigarette while inside. BUT it's perfectly ok to have a lit cigarette in there, so long as you hold it down below your waist, because this prevents everyone else from having to inhale your secondhand smoke completely. What!? Please note the sarcasm in the last statement. If I get lung cancer, I'm blaming it on the men of East Asia. No wonder our air here is polluted, 8 out of 10 men here smoke (according to the statistics calculated by my estimation). It's like little chimneys pouring out gaseous smog as they burn their little tobacco fuel hour by hour. So anyways, you plan on coming over here, just be prepared for the elevator situations!

Attention All Customers...

I went down to Carrefour (an Asian Wal-Mart if you will) that just opened underneath our apartment complex today. They aren't officially "open" persay, but will be on Tuesday, so today was like a trial run or something. Anyways, I didn't stay longer than ten minutes, in fear for my life, due to the swarms of people in the place. The best way I can describe the masses that stormed through this store is to relate it to a football game and everyone rushes the field at the game-winning touchdown for the National Championship. Really. You'd have thought they'd made an announcement that everything in the store was free, so long as you get it before everyone else does. People were pushing over people just to get inside. Somehow I got caught up in the current of people and ended up throwing up my hands in frustration and exiting without obtaining any injuries, although had my toes rolled over and stepped on by some frenzied shoppers and their carts. I don't plan on going back in the near future though, the other stores have become deserted, and that's where I'll be. No lines, no problem. Hey, they can't help that 32 million live in an area the size of South Carolina!

Observations In Super-Sized Differences

It's been quite awhile (yet again) since I've updated. Truthfully, the days of interesting events/circumstances haven't lessened at all, but my initiative in reporting them has dwindled. The above picture is posted as a request to a friend. It was taken while I was in Thailand back in February. We were messing around on our mopeds and I'd decided to put on Wes's helmet after watching him drive his up onto the sidewalk by mistake. Ha. So, hmm...adventures of late... last week Anna, David, Trum, and I went on a short trip to a new place during our May holiday (Spring Break, if you will). It was (and I quote from long-time friend, Miss Laney) "hot as a mug" there, and the remainder of this will address the above title, just in case you were confused: While on our trip, Anna and I shared a good laugh about how when riding in the Rik-Sha (Bike with a carriage on the back) the poor driver had to pedal with all his might to get us to our hotel. Our friends and even complete strangers don't hesitate here to let you know their thoughts. Honesty at its most blatant and finest! I can't even count how many times I've been told, and politely I might add, that I "look very healthy." :) So we're all aware what that means...get your butt outside and exercise, Tubby! I'll confess it's great motivation to do so, really it works! Actually though, it's very refreshing, and well, to say the least, humbling. It's good to know the other Americans share in my status of being looked upon in this way. I will say, that we've come to the conclusion that the people here are in no better health than Americans in terms of exercise (ok, but only to an extent) and diet. For one, they cook and douse everything they eat in oil and eat just as many sweets as we do, and for two, they consider playing ping pong "exercise." Even if you're playing someone quite skilled in the "sport," to call it exercise in my book is pushing the envelope just a tad. The fact is, they are genetically smaller and that's the whole of it. The only exception I'll give them is that they do walk everywhere in general more than we do. Oh, and how about green bean or corn popsicles? Yeah, they love 'em. I'm not lying. Mmm, frozen vitamins and minerals! Anyways, I guess either side has their observations about the habits and appearance of the other culture. So, Enjoy your carb-filled, walking from your office to your car and then your car to your house for exercise, "I'm just bigger-boned!" day! Note: I, me...guilty as charged.